My eyes followed him a little longer today as he walked up the sidewalk to school.
It’s hard to put into words what we are all feeling, now three days after the incomprehensible tragedy of Friday, December 14th, 2012. How? Why? These words keep echoing in my mind, accompanied by more tears.
I was writing this post about True Contentment while everything was going on Friday. Little did I know what my eyes were about to see on the news… and how my newly learned lesson was going to be tested.
Maybe you were, as I was, immediately gripped with fear and worry. Maybe anger. We’ve probably all been through every emotion possible over the last few days. We’ve mourned for those heartbroken families who have lost their precious, precious babies. The empty beds. The empty arms. We’ve been reminded of the preciousness of our own babies. We’ve gone to their rooms at night just to listen to them breathe.
This morning, as I kissed Jeffrey on the head and said “I love you” like I do every morning as he gets out of the car, God brought this verse to mind:
For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. – 2 Timothy 1:7
Fear paralyzes. God doesn’t want us to be paralyzed. He wants us to be fully equipped and prepared to fulfill our part in His great plan… with power (given in the form of the Holy Spirit), love (perfect love that casts out fear), and a sound mind (one that is fixed on Christ Jesus, and does not react impulsively when fear threatens to take control).
My fear brought thoughts of pulling my children out of school… of avoiding any public places… of hiding. Irrational, paralyzing thoughts. There is no physical safe place.
But the safe place of the sound mind (the peaceful mind) happens when the Holy Spirit’s power and Christ’s Perfect Love reign in our lives.
As we all continue to process what happened Friday, as we continue to feel an aching that words really can’t express, may we bring our hearts and minds to God. His Holy Spirit. His Son. His Word. There is no physical safe place… but there is this one safe place. The place that reminds us that:
In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. – John 16:33
Oh Paula, why oh why haven’t we met for coffee yet? Lol! You and I are so much alike. I too have struggled with feelings of fear with regard to my children and their safety. At first, I thought…”I can homeschool them.” Then I realized, this heinous crime could happen on a family outing to the local Red Robin or Target. I can’t live in fear or tuck my children away in hiding. That doesn’t strengthen my faith nor does it build the foundation for theirs. Still… it’s tempting. My daughter hugged me during a Christmas party/playdate yesterday. She never does that. Usually at a playdate I’m lucky to see her sweet smile until it’s time to leave for home. This time, she was sitting on my lap – my 7 year old! Sitting on my lap, hugging me. Just because. This morning as she got out of the car in the rain to walk up the steps onto the school bus, she stopped, turned around and hugged me two more times. She never does that. I don’t think she’s afraid to go to school. I think hearing of the horror of what happened maybe opened her eyes to how precious our loved ones are. Not that she didn’t already know that, but it did the exact same thing for me.
Oh Rosann…. I feel the same way! 🙂 I think we need to set a meet-halfway-coffee-date soon!!