31 Days :: Day 11 – Insecurities That Lead Us To Critique, Control, & Possess

This Morning:

  • Journal about what you have been thinking about since yesterday’s devotion. Did it hit home to you? For those of you who contacted me… praying specifically for you!
  • Spend some time this morning praying that God will remove the fears and insecurities that cripple. Ask Him to show you any areas where these “little” thoughts creep in and inhibit your kingdom-mindedness.
Devotion: Insecurities That Lead Us To Critique, Control, & Possess

Remember Sunday I said that Satan has been attacking me with the very topics we are going to be talking about? Well, this one has been hitting me hard over the last couple of days.

As a perfectionistic editor, I critique. It has always been a part of whatever job I’m on at any given time. Critiquing comes so naturally to me that it comes out ALL the time, even at inopportune times. The older I get, I am starting to recognize that it is more than just a natural ability to critique. I innately want to control. I want to be the leader, the one making the decisions. I want to control y.o.u. And if you can do something for me… if you make me feel good about myself… I want to possess y.o.u.

Sounds terrible, I know. We each have our own little quirks and this is one of my deep dark ones. In its natural state, humanness is just ugly. And Satan loves to attack us in ways that block God’s grace from changing our self-centered attitudes.

One thing I’m learning is to stop these unwanted thoughts where they start. Instead of actually allowing critical words to come out of my mouth, to stop them in my mind. Now, I’m by NO means perfect in this. I still say things I regret every day. But I am noticing that I now hold some things back that really don’t need to be said…. and the credit for that can ONLY be given to God.

Do your thoughts and words about others pass the edification test? Read these verses and think about how your words may come across:

Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing. – 1 Thessalonians 5:11

So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding. – Romans 14:19

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. – Ephesians 4:29

A good rule is this: If the thought you want to share does not pass the edification test, keep it to yourself. I’m not saying don’t critique. There are tactful, loving, EDIFYING ways to say things that need to be said. Just be careful that you don’t hurt someone in the process. And check your motive. Make sure you’re not seeking to control and possess, which I find a lot of times is what I’m doing {even unconsciously}.

So where does the critical… controlling… possessive spirit come from? The root is insecurity. I see myself {even unconsciously} as ‘not good enough’ so if I critique and control and possess you, then maybe I’ll feel better about myself. Oh… and by the way, have you ever noticed that a lot of times we are critical about the very things we are not so good at? Insecurity again… If I critique YOU, then I don’t look so bad.

Insecurity hurts us. It hurts those we love. It causes ugly things to come out in us that are not what God has planned for us. We have to give it over to God and realize that He knit us together and we are His in Christ…

For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them. – Psalm 139:13-16

We will talk more about this next week. The line between pride and insecurity is a fine one.

To Make You Think:

  1. Is this a thought pattern that you struggle with?
  2. If you do struggle with this, when do you find that it hits you the worst? When someone hurts you {even unintentionally}? When you are feeling insecure about a relationship? When you are not seeing yourself as knit together for God’s purpose?
  3. Are you able to stop critical thoughts before they come out of your mouth?
  4. Do you believe that God is big enough to conquer this negative way of thinking in you personally?
The Rest of the Day:
  • Journal about how you struggle specifically in this area. It may be the need to control a particular relationship or thing. Maybe you have a need to feel like you are doing well in a place of service in your life. Just think through it and ask God to reveal the underlying issue.
  • Ask God to remove your insecurities… to free you from this trap. Ask Him to help you see areas where you may not even realize this is a problem.
  • Battle verse! Battle verse! Battle verse!
See you tomorrow!

Continuing on…  31 Days :: Day 12 – The Magnifying Glass 


3 Replies to “31 Days :: Day 11 – Insecurities That Lead Us To Critique, Control, & Possess”

  1. Battle verse! So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding. – Romans 14:19
    I talk alot! Especially in areas that have gone wrong in my life. I feel like I need to share (or control) this with others so it doesn't happen to them. My delivery stinks. God is in control, and I must follow His lead. That means allowing the Spirit to do the talking. Insecurities……..a plenty. _I'm grateful for this study, the verses that are provided help tremendously.
    Romans 14:19(The Message). So let's agree to use all our energy in getting along with each other. Help others with encouraging words; don't drag them down by finding fault.

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