2017 was quite a year. As I look back over the past year, I see several milestones:
- My marriage was beautifully and miraculously reconciled after 8 months of separation;
- I bought and sold a house;
- I started a new role at the school where I teach;
- My oldest son and I got to experience “the shot” at the UNC vs Kentucky regional championship LIVE;
- One of my dearest friends and I went on a bucket list trip to southern California;
- My dad had quadruple bypass surgery.
God is good.
In the transition from 2017 to 2018, I have been doing a lot of soul-searching. A little depression has even set in, blending with the overwhelmed feeling that I have had for the past few months. It has been hard for me to really put into words, but my husband was able to beautifully explain it in three little words: lack of surrender.
There was a lot of “I” in 2017. I did a lot of surrendering, just not to the God who created me. I surrendered to… my ways, my pride, my insecurity, my need to please people, my perfectionism, my selfish ambition, my laziness, my lack of follow-through, and the big one… my fears. You all probably didn’t see this qualities, but they are there. They love to sneak in at weak moments and remind me that “I’m not good enough.” These are the words in my mind that cause all of the unhealthy surrenders.
My word for 2018 – Surrender
The picture attached to this post is one I took on our trip to southern California in October. There is no way to explain the beauty we saw there. The beaches and coastline were like nothing I’ve ever seen. This picture shows the very image of surrender. Staring at God’s creation and saying “here I am, Lord.” He controls it all anyway, so why do we keep fighting it?
This is the first year I’ve actually picked a word. The word that I want to stay in front of me at all times. And with it comes a song by All Sons & Daughters: the new meaning God has given me for “I surrender.”
I Surrender – All Sons and Daughters
The riches of this world will fade
The treasures of our God remain
Here I empty myself to owe this world
Nothing and find everything in You
I surrender, I surrender
I surrender all to You
Take my life, a sacrifice
In You alone I’m satisfied
Here I empty myself to owe this world
Nothing and find everything in You
Everything in You
I surrender, I surrender
I surrender all to You
I surrender, I surrender
I surrender all to You
Not my will, but Yours be done
Not my strength, but Yours alone
Nothing else, but You oh Lord
I find everything in You
I surrender, I surrender
I surrender all to You
I surrender, I surrender
I surrender all to You
Surrender.
My challenge to you is to choose a word for 2018. Pray about it… what is God calling you and/or your family to this year?
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