Still The Great I Am

Open hands learned in Birmingham? Yes.

Great I Am became the worship song that would always remind me of that life-changing trip? Yes.

My family is in a time of transition as far as what church body we are calling “home” right now. We’ve visited a few places; and without a doubt, a few of those Sundays, I know we were exactly where God wanted us to be at exactly the right time. This morning was one of those times.

The worship music was definitely my style. (Not to get started in worship wars, because I can worship to just about anything that is Christ-honoring.) But let me just say that my heart felt at home. So when the band started to play Great I Am, my eyes filled up with tears as I realized what was happening.

When I first learned this song and it became ingrained in my heart, God was giving me a chance, pushing me forward to do His work. At that time in my life, I could tell He was pursuing relationship with me in an incredible way. It was special. That was two years ago this month.

For the past two years, I have taken that beautiful opportunity and twisted it into something… not so beautiful. Unintentionally, doing God’s work became priority over loving Him and knowing Him. It consumed me so much that the most important ministry entrusted to me got the leftovers. My family suffered.

Thankfully, my husband led me in a different direction. He helped me get out of the darkness that I couldn’t even see I was in… and he held my hand through it. Now we are becoming more of the team we are supposed to be, and we worship together, side-by-side.

So while we sang Great I Am this morning, I smiled with tears of joy, raising my hands and thanking God for yet another chance. He reminded me of the past two years, but He also reminded me of two years AGO, when my heart was ready and willing to do whatever He wanted me to do.

He is giving me another chance. So here we go. Open hands. Open heart. Ready to follow His lead. Fully confessing that I can’t do it on my own. In the words of Caedmon’s Call: “I am thankful that I’m incapable of doing any good on my own.”

I’m thankful that I must rely on my Creator… thankful that He has always been the Great I Am… thankful that He is still the Great I Am.

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3 Replies to “Still The Great I Am”

  1. I enjoyed this message. This same thing happened to me in that I got so caught up with the doing that it consumed my time. In the meantime I truly was losing the intimate relationship and grasping His love and wanting to lead my time. For quite awhile now I have been without a church but in communication with other believers. Where two or three are gathered … The Lord has brought me into a new perspective and a new relationship with Him that is not so much “doing” but giving and just being.
    Thank you for all of your sharing.

    1. Yes, this is exactly what the Lord is doing in my life right now! Different perspective… and I’m so thankful for that! So glad you stopped by. 🙂

  2. Hi Paula,
    I had heard through a mutual friend that your family moved and wondered what that was about. In my opinion, church membership should not be a lifelong commitment to one building and group of believers. God is constantly challenging, growing and refreshing us within the body of Christ as a whole. He brings us alongside others for special times and experiences which we may be used of in different places of ministry.
    As for Juli and I we made the move about a year and a half ago, it has been a time of refreshing spiritually, especially for myself. We now sing together again in the choir, occasionally side by side. The worship feels much like when we were blessed to have Chad with us. We strive for better in presentation, but having the heart of worship always has the emphasis. Spirit and Truth, that is what He wants anyway, our hearts in tune with His, abandoning the world to worship Him alone. I feel a smile in my heart thinking about it.
    May God bless you in your journey as you seek Him and His path for your life.

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