I realized something about myself a couple of days ago. In my quirky, perfectionistic, self-centered brain, if one little thing in my day doesn’t go exactly how I planned it, the whole day immediately becomes stamped with failure. Oh the blindness. Oh the ME-ness.
That evening, I was beating myself up, literally fighting back tears because of a couple of things that didn’t go right through the day (in my eyes). My flesh wanted to jump to the defense. Insecurity stood up and anchored itself in the ugly bullying role it plays as one of my biggest strongholds. I forgot again that God is my defense. He IS my stronghold. All other strongholds must go away in His presence.
So here I sit again, reeling from another mistake, but I’m allowing God to show me how tiny this mistake is in His big picture. I’m thankful for grace-filled friends who love me through mistakes. And I’m reminded that the attainability of perfection in a vessel like me is non-existent… and I’m believing that’s okay. There is only one true piece of perfection. It’s certainly not a perfection that can be reached by our little human brains. Jesus was tempted in every way imaginable, yet He remained perfect.
I think about how much time I spend during the day worrying about lining up text, or spelling words correctly, or finishing the tasks, or just getting it all right. What if I were to take that energy and spend it on worrying about my own ugly sin? The imperfections that hurt God’s heart? The pride, the insecurity, the impurities, the lack of discipline, and all the other stuff that clouds my view? The stuff that actually IS important in His big picture? I bet the rest of the day’s worries would drop down a few rungs on the priority list.
In the end, a failed day is not about misspelled words… it’s not about emails that were left unsent… it’s not about a machine that didn’t work fast enough… it’s not about the stuff that I messed up. A failed day is one in which my heart has been misdirected… I have missed an opportunity to worship… I haven’t taken time to pray… I haven’t loved on my family and my friends enough.
A failed day is one in which my priorities got mixed up and I put the stuff (and ultimately my own pride) above my Creator God.
The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. – Psalm 18:2
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