It needed to be permanently fixed. Not just pieced together.
For a couple of years, this chair sat, unfixed. Every once in a while, one of us took a minute to fit the pieces back together, hoping they would stay. But it never took long before they came undone… every. time. Why didn’t we walk over to the island, get out the super glue, and fix it? Lazy? Didn’t care? Whatever the reason, we let the brokenness sit. Instead of taking five minutes for a permanent fix, we just kept bandaging… hoping that miraculously it would work “this time.”
And that is where I am right now. The chair that keeps being bandaged. For months I have sensed God calling me to take a break so that He can become my permanent fix. He’s been calling me to stop talking and just listen. But my hard-headed self has kept on pushing, hoping to squeeze a little more life out of this branch… even though it was about to fall from the vine. So as He always does whatever is necessary, He has now stopped the words from coming to me.
I don’t want to be the person who only reads the Bible or listens to God so I will have something to put on paper. My desire is to become what He wants me to become… for the sake of becoming. I desire the deep foundation of a life that can only come from a deep relationship with our Creator God.
So for now, I’m taking a break… from the blog, from twitter, from triberr… even facebook and outside-of-the-family time will be limited (as much as possible). See I’m also an introvert. And without extended time for introspection, I fall apart. That time has been lacking lately. So… it’s just time for me to allow my heart to be fixed. It’s time for me to focus on listening. It’s time for me to accept and embrace God’s prioritizing hand in all of the many facets of my life.
It’s time for me to stop applying scotch tape when super glue is what’s needed.
I don’t expect this to be a long break. A few weeks… Maybe a little more. One more book review is due next week, but other than that, it will be quiet here for a while.
To you guys…. thanks for reading. I ask for your prayers. Please pray that I will surrender to whatever this season means. And that I will come back refreshed, filled up with Jesus, ready again to pour out.
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