I’ve always needed to SEE it to BELIEVE it. If you can relate with me on this, then you know how difficult it is to fight in your Christian walk. At times, I find myself crying out with the need to feel flesh… not just Someone I can’t see. Often, it’s when I feel alone… and/or when a relationship in my life is strained. Here’s something God taught me one night a couple of months ago when I was just. needing. flesh.
December 21, 2011
Tonight I found myself crying out with a need for someone who understands me. Feeling alone. One of those “the world is against me” nights. You know, sometimes you can feel alone even when you are surrounded by people who love you. I’m recognizing (being forced to recognize) that for my entire life I have tried to fill the emptiness deep down with flesh. With relationships that I somehow think will fill me. And when I feel that no human understands me, my husband says… God.
I cry, “but I need flesh!” I ache inside to the depths of all that I know of who I am. The me that I have allowed my mind’s eye to look into. Not even close to the depths that God knows. And I’m kind of sick of the part I can see. My heart so desires to find what He sees. Deep inside there is a place that can only be filled by the Creator and Savior.
And then it hits me. Jesus. No, I can’t touch his flesh tonight. But I can touch the pages that contain the story of His time as a human. The silent night in Bethlehem when he was born only from the conception of the Holy Spirit. The years of His teaching… His perfection… His love… His righteous anger… His grace. The pain in His flesh as He gave Himself. For me. For you.
So tonight as I ache into the depths of me, I touch the pages. The pages that can lead me to experience the ONLY flesh that can truly fill me.
How about you? Does your heart ache, knowing that no one on earth can truly understand you like Jesus does? Do you long to fill a void that other human relationships or things can’t seem to fill? Will you join me in the pages? Just start reading the Bible… it doesn’t matter where you start. Just start. He will meet you there, as He met me that night… and as He continues to meet me.